It’s Not Just Picky Eating: ARFID in Adults
I have lost count of how many times I have heard, “Just try it, you might like it.” For some people, that is harmless encouragement. For others, especially those who are neurodivergent, it can be the fastest way to trigger panic, shutdown, or nausea.
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is not stubbornness or a childhood phase. It is a complex relationship between body, brain, and sensory environment that can last a lifetime. I have seen how ARFID is misunderstood, minimized, or completely missed in adults both in my counseling work and in my own life.
For many neurodivergent adults, food is not just about taste. It is about texture, temperature, smell, even the sound of chewing or utensils. A meal that feels safe one day can be impossible the next if a brand changes the recipe or the packaging smells different. That is not being picky. That is a nervous system doing its best to protect itself from what it sees as a threat.
Adults with ARFID often become skilled at masking. They avoid work lunches, stick to a small list of “safe” foods, and come up with reasons to skip events that revolve around eating. To others, it might look quirky or particular. In reality, it is careful self-preservation, but it can come with nutritional gaps, isolation, and ongoing anxiety about eating in public.
Medical visits can make it harder. Too many people with ARFID have gone to a doctor for something unrelated like a broken bone, chronic pain, a sinus infection only to hear, “If you just lose weight…” This advice ignores the reality of restricted eating patterns, the role of sensory safety, and the fact that “healthy eating” guidelines assume you can eat the same foods as everyone else.
Supplemental nutrition is not always the easy fix it sounds like. Protein powders, fortified shakes, and meal replacements might work in theory, but in practice they can be ruled out instantly by texture, smell, or aftertaste. For people with ARFID, finding safe nutrition is an ongoing process that takes patience, trial and error, and a provider who understands sensory needs.
Treatment for ARFID has to be respectful. Exposure to new foods can help in some cases, but only with safety and consent. Forcing foods on someone with ARFID does not build tolerance. It can make things worse, creating more fear and anxiety around eating. Progress happens when changes are made slowly, with full collaboration, and when sensory preferences are treated as valid, not as obstacles to overcome.
The most important thing to remember is that people with ARFID are not being difficult. They are navigating a body-brain system that works differently. Respect and understanding go further than judgment or pressure.
